It’s extremely hard to think about the future when you are an autism parent. You know you have to do it, but it can be terrifying to think of. When my children were younger, I used to say “I will figure it out one day”. For us, the one day has now arrived and it is still as scary as before. There are a lot of “what ifs” and “whens” and even ‘hows”. I know I am not alone in my thoughts because I read about this all the time in autism groups.
I think about what will happen when we are no longer here, that’s a given. I also think about setting up things so that they will have financial help in their future, but I also want them to be able to be as independent as possible. I know, lots of things that go through my mind consistently. If I have to be honest right now, I am thinking of if something would happen to us today, where would I want them to be and who would I want supporting and helping them navigate their future? And just because I want something, doesn’t mean it will happen. Agreeing to be part of support for a person with autism is asking a lot of someone and I am very aware that not everyone is equipped to do this or wants to do this.
Of course, they are siblings, so I often wonder, would be they be okay to navigate life together? But then I also think I don’t want to put pressure on either one of them to be responsible for the other one’s life and well being. To be honest, I also think that with both of them on the spectrum would they even want this.
Right now I am thinking about the best possible outcomes that they could have and who would be able to help both of them do this. These are my questions as I set things up financially for them right now. I don’t have all of the answers either at this moment.
Although I am constantly thinking about this, I am also trying to take one day at a time and focus on their skills and strengths and help them with their challenges which are both very different.
I am trying not to panic about the future as they are both still in their “school years” and I will just do the best that I can to help them reach their goals and hopefully have a future where they do hold secure jobs even if this is not your typical 40 hours a week.
If they do need support, I am researching the best possible options for each of them so that they will not have to navigate the world alone but will be able to find a person or a place that will be able to help them with whatever they need and thrive.
This is an ongoing process and has been for awhile, and I will continue to do my due diligence to make sure that their futures are secure.
Shelly Wedge 