So, it is the season! It’s definitely a different year for all of us this year. Our world is a different place and the focus for all of us is our health.
Even though things are quieter, in our house that’s not a bad thing. We are all pretty much home bodies so actually being at home is enjoyable for us. Also, we have had more time to focus on decorating, wrapping gifts and baking which sometimes can feel so rushed. This year I don’t feel the pressure that I normally do.
This year we are missing a couple of family members who have passed away since last Christmas and we will all really miss both of them this year.
This is the first year that we have put our tree up before December! The kids did the entire thing together. It was so nice to watch them working together.
We are looking forward to the school break and spending some quality time together as a family just hanging out together. Hopefully we will watch some movies, play some games and bake some yummy food!
What are your plans for the holidays? Above all, stay safe!
So the other day I was just thinking about communicating as this is something that we struggle with in our house.
I was walking our dog and there was another lady walking her dog on the adjacent sidewalk. She was speaking a different language to dog, but ultimately our dogs wanted the same thing. They wanted to smell each other.
I was thinking just amazing it is that dogs know what their owners say no matter what language it’s spoken in and they don’t have to guess what you want because the tone of our voice and the non verbal cues are quite clear.
I know this isn’t a revelation by any means but it just made me take a step back and realize that it’s not always what I say. Sometimes it’s my tone and my non verbal cues that can either be inviting or terrible.
Especially for our son, I sometimes have to stop and be more understanding of what exactly he is communicating so that I can help him develop these skills more. When you really stope to think about our non verbal cues on a daily basis there are so many.
Considering both of our children are on the spectrum, I have to be really aware of what I am communicating to them beyond my words. I know that it’s hard for both of them at times as communication is something that both of them struggle with in different ways.
I hope to improve my awareness on this and hopefully it will help the relationship I have with my children as I want them to be able to understand the world better.
From time to time I speak about biomedical treatments and the progress we are making with them.
First of all I have had to re-evaluate progress in a different way. Before I used to look at progress as being skills that were gained and new things my child was doing, but now I also have to look at it as things my child is not doing, which may be beneficial as well.
What I mean by this is that our son in particular has lots of annoying habits and just things he would do in general.
The other day we were at our functional medicine doctor and he commented to me that he couldn’t believe how calm and settled our son was in the office. I looked over at him and said “yeah, he is isn’t he?” We have added the SCD diet since July and things in his body are working a little better which I think is contributing to a new focus and calmness.
We were discussing heavy metals again about doing another challenge test to see what metals are still in his body as I feel that there are still some there.. He had previously shown almost toxic lead levels which took two years of chelation to get rid of. Chelation is a method of drawing the metals out of your tissues and helping you excrete them through urine, sweat and bowels to put it in simple terms.
Some people don’t believe in this method and that’s fine, I’m not here to convince you either way. I am just sharing our experience with this process.
The chelation we previously were successful with was with a compounding drug called DMSA. The first and best way to remove metals from the body is to do it through IV treatment as this is the most aggressive way and if your child is older, which is the case of us, you need to be more aggressive as these metals have probably been embedded in the tissues for many years.
Knowing our son as well as I do, I feel that there are still metals in his body. He exhibits certain behaviours that makes me think this is definitely a possibility. So the doctor asked me if our son would sit for 15 minutes with an IV to do a challenge test. Three years ago, this would not have even been remotely possibly but I replied that I thought he would now. See this is progress! Stay tuned for an update on this!
Also, he went to get his first filling this week without going under anesthesia. I thought he was ready and since the filling was very small they said that they could do it without freezing. I am happy to say that he did amazing! We watched a YouTube video the day before on what was to happen and I instructed them to just let them know what they were doing as they did it so that he would feel more comfortable.
He didn’t like some of the things that happened, and he did ask to leave in the middle, but then he let them finish – progress!!!
When you think of progress for your child, what comes to mind?
School in the time of covid. What can I say? In my opinion, at least in our house, it’s going pretty well. Better than I initially expected. These are the things that I enjoy about our new schedule:
We can get up later some days.
The kids have some down moments which allows them to regroup and take breaks so that they can focus on stuff when they are actually doing the schoolwork.
Lunch is relaxed
Since the kids are only doing two subjects at a time, they don’t get overwhelmed with so many deadlines in so many courses.
They are learning so much about technology and how to participate in zoom sessions.
It allows me to participate and see the learning process and what we need to work on.
Independence has increased (for our son) because I can’t be there all the time.
Things I dislike right now:
The schedule is loose so with two kids at two different school and they are not in sync so some days I’m dropping off and picking up at school while other days I am picking up from the bus stop, all the while trying to make sure that everyone is doing their work at the right times.
At times I feel like I just come in the door and then I am headed back out in matter of minutes. Sometimes our dog doesn’t know what’s happening.
Distractions at home can be bothersome from the phone ringing to the dog barking.
You are never really free of your environment so you never get to “leave the class” if you will.
I choose to embrace this time with my children and I enjoy partipating in this part of their lives.
Different words mean different things to different people.
We all come from different backgrounds and we all have different experiences. I want to share some of the things about language that I am personally very aware of and that I keep in mind.
I like to refer to my children as having unique or different needs. Keep in mind that I am not judging anyone else for the language they use that makes sense to them.
I don’t like to describe my children as being “autistic” because that’s not who they are. To me, they are strong individuals who possess many different and unique talents and at times, challenges.
It’s like when the term “disabled” is used. In my view, it has a negative connotation, although perhaps that’s not what is intended. Perhaps it is in some cases. I prefer to look at is as a person has different abilities. All of our abilities are not the same whether we face physical or intellectual challenges. But we all have something to offer and a person can always learn for as we know our brains neuroplasticity can change and we can learn throughout our entire lives.
Neurodiverse is the correct PC term now to use in case you were wondering. I don’t think it is helpful to define any person on what they can and cannot do and describe them this way.
This is my opinion, but as I live with two children on the spectrum, I am extremely sensitive as to how much words can hurt and how they can strip a person of their self-confidence and make them feel like they are not good enough.
So my tip for you today is to think about reframing your language, be sensitive to others and above all be kind and loving. Because don’t we all need more of this right now?