Expressions

When I think about expressions, I think about how we express ourselves in any given situation.  I also think about the “feeling” of where we are in the moment. Is it happy, sad, overwhelmed, grumpy, scared, exhausted?

At the current time in our home, we have everyone expressing themselves all the time with many different constantly changing expressions. Quite frankly, it’s draining.

What was previously my domain has now become home to all of us, all day, every day from the time we all wake up until the time we all go to sleep.

When one of us is happy and expressing themselves in a positive way, it’s a very good thing and the mood is light and relaxed. Just the opposite of course when one of us is grumpy or irritable (which happens all the time now) we all feel it and it can make all of us on edge and grumpy and just miserable.

I would like to be the home where everything is happy all the time, but right now that’s not the case for us. Don’t get me wrong, there are positive things to not having to work on a schedule. Both our kids function differently at different times in the day and now that we can work whenever we want, it makes it easier to wait until that person is ready to focus and then get as much work done as possible in that moment of time.

If my son is tired or grumpy, he can wait to do his work until that mood passes. If he wants to sleep late and do work late in the day, it has now become possible.

I read about many people creating their schedules and I have seen many charts and I commend these people so very much. I know that with a child on the spectrum, this sometimes works quite well in predicting what will happen through the course of a day. I remember this being even more crucial when our son was younger. I wish I could say that I am doing the same thing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

If you currently look at our dining room table, you will see sheets, calculators, writing tools, folders of work completed and stuff to be repeated as well as some fun stuff we have been doing as well. It’s somewhat organized but not totally.

Where a daily schedule once was, has had nothing on it with regards to going to school, in quite a while. My son doesn’t even look at it anymore to see if he’s going or not. He has been doing schoolwork at home for awhile and for the most part, he is okay with that. He misses his teachers and his classmates and just the general layout and consistency of his day. He functions quite well in this environment.

Unfortunately, our home environment cannot match the school environment – it’s just not possible, nor is it a real expectation. I commend the teachers for everything they are doing to get things out in such a short amount of time.

Mostly, his expressions change multiple times during the course of a day and I get it because I feel the same way. Today, it was lots of morning energy (which is unusual because he’s a teenager) and anyone who has teens knows that they are usually pretty grumpy until lunchtime.

He was then supposed to do a zoom meeting this afternoon and he was totally miserable and not in the head space so we had to postpone this.

For me, it’s sometimes hard to separate my frustration and look at the entire picture, but I do try my very best.

Our dog wonders why everyone is around all the time but of course no one wants to walk him except for me.

Sometimes my frustrations are many in the course of an hour and other times I’m completely content when I don’t have to run out and all the drop offs and pick ups.

To not go completely insane everyday, I take the dog for walks to clear my head. That part of my day is always nice and relaxing. I don’t really go out. My husband has been the designated everything. He does all the pick ups, whether they are groceries, prescriptions or gas. I give him lists (and they are many) so his expressions are not always positive, but he usually is a good sport and verbally doesn’t complain.

In the long run, none of us will remember how much math or reading we did, or how many hours per day we spent doing work with our children, but we will remember the connection and trying our very best to teach them, not only school work, but life as well.

Until next time, take care and take day by day, moment by moment. Take care of your loved ones!