So, in our house this can be different in any given day for any person living in our house. Yes, this includes adults!
So meltdowns in our house fortunately have become less and less in the past while, which is very good. But sometimes when they do happen, they are extremely unpleasant and exhausting.
A couple of weeks ago we were going up to our cottage on a Friday evening. The day had been challenging as our son had finished a chelation treatment a couple of days prior. After these treatments, his body can be really uncomfortable as the toxins are moving through his body. This creates irritability and cramping.
So having said that, we got to our cottage and our son was in a bad mood (which is unusual because it is his favorite place). I thought well we will just see how it goes and hope for the best. After a bit of time had passed, I saw that things were not going well. He was getting upset over every single small thing.
I went to talk to him as I had heard some unpleasant noises in the cottage. At our cottage unfortunately, there is not really a safe space to chill out like his bedroom at home. I was extremely tired and irritable myself from the drive up to the cottage so I had little to no patience left to deal with this outburst. I was also afraid of him breaking something as he was so on edge. Since my husband was not up there, I thought to myself that he better not break something so that is where my focus was at the time.
Things fell apart rather quickly and badly. I was yelling at him, he was getting upset and it just went downhill.
It took some time but after awhile things settled down. Just when things were calm. the power went out. Here comes my meltdown! I was ready to cry. I was so tired and I had not even unpacked most of the stuff yet. When we discovered it wasn’t going to come back on, I completely lost it as I knew that our son wasn’t going to last 3 hours (the expected time of power return). It was already 8 pm.
So, I left the dog and my daughter with my mom, who happened to be up there, and we got in the car and headed home.
I was upset at everything! My behaviour, his behaviour, the situation, all of it. What was supposed to be a relaxing weekend, turned into a nightmare.
We finally got home around 10 pm and I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was so done with our son’s meltdown, my meltdown and I was ready for bed.
Sometimes looking back at situations, I think about all of the things that I did wrong, all the things I said that were wrong and I get so upset with myself. As a parent, we are not supposed to have meltdowns. We are supposed to be calm and comforting. We are supposed to lead by example.
This just goes to show you that not only our kids/teens have behaviours but we as adults can have behaviours as well.
When our son was younger, he had behaviours way more often so that when one happens now, it kind of throws me off because it is very unusual. What I need to remember is t be calm and rational. Try to have a “teaching moment” so that our son can learn to make good choices when he is upset.
In this case, I was extremely disappointed and ashamed how I reacted, but I have also realized that I am only human and sometimes my emotions can be extremely high and I know that I have to learn from the mistakes that I make so that I can be a better role model to my children.
I hope moving forward that we can work together to minimize these occurrences and learn to be better people.