Author: autismlighterside

True Happiness…what does it mean to you?

It could be family, friends, health, vacations, activities…the list could go on and on and it will be different for every person.

Since autism lives in our home, the way we perceive happiness could be far different than others.

Happiness for us can be peace. The quiet noise of nothing in particular going on is music to my ears. I love total and complete silence. There have been so many times when chaos has existed that I just relish in the quiet of nothingness.

For me happiness can also be found when my children are happy. When one of them shows joy or excitement for something, it truly can make my day!

It can  also be status quo – nothing new has happened but that means nothing bad has happened.

It also means being with the people who mean the most to you no matter what is going on.

With autism, happiness is when my son and I share a special moment together or when he touches me to offer comfort. For these moments, I am truly grateful.

At this time of year, when we are always rushing around more than usual, just slowing down to be happy is a gift that you just can’t buy!

Be happy today!

Toxins are everywhere and them seem to have increased in recent years.

Certain toxins can be dangerous and can affect the health of anyone.

For individuals with autism who are already carrying an extremely heavy toxic load and dealing with compromised immune systems, toxins can have an even greater negative impact.

I have discovered in the last couple of years through a lot of research, just how damaging even things we don’t think about can be a huge negative for individuals with autism.

How often do you think about things around your home being toxic? For me, I truly did not give it much thought.

Then I discovered that it was not only one thing that was contributing to our son’s toxic overload, but it was a combination of a whole bunch of things.

I didn’t change everything all at once, but I did start to make small household changes a bit at a time.

First I stopped using cleaning products that contained chemicals and switched to all natural ones like baking soda, vinegar and some essential oils. Not only was this healthier for all of us, it was also cheaper!

I also switched out soap, shampoo and laundry detergents for alternatives that were more pure with no chemicals. Anything that is in the air or being absorbed through your skin can have the most negative impact. Of course, you can only control your own environment, but by doing this, you are reducing some of the daily exposure you are getting.

Next I looked at cookware. I discarded all pans that were teflon coated as there can be harmful fumes emitted from these that go right into your food and then ingested. Stainless steel and wrought iron are good substitutes to use.

I still have some old baking sheets, but I put parchment paper on them so when the food is on the sheet it is fairly safe. Even for old muffin tins, I use paper inserts when making muffins so that I can still utilize the pan.

The next thing for me was the plastic containers. I slowly replaced these with glass ones; however at times I still use the odd one but I usually wrap the item in paper towel and then put it into the container. I do the same for ziploc bags.

I also diffuse essential oils into our son’s room and in the kitchen as well.

Occasionally I do need to give some areas a deeper clean, like the bathrooms, so I do this when no one is home and when I can open the windows so that fresh air is circulating around.

I’m not perfect, but these few things I have control over on a daily basis.

We also use the Ion Cleanse footbath from AMD on a daily basis for our son, which has tremendously helped open the pathways for his body to excrete toxins. This has been an integral part of his healing process and daily health regime.

If toxins are a concern for you (as they should be) you may wish to try some of these simple things to start out.

You may be surprised at how much a few simple choices can make everyone in your house a little healthier!

 

We all have various reactions over the course of a day. Some are good and some are not. Most of the time, we don’t even think about it.

We can be excited, upset, mindful and irritated all within a very short time span.

Sometimes we react to situations we are in, other times it’s a comment that a person made to us or even a look that someone gave us.

Reactions are a fact of life. Every day we have them.

Sometimes we react badly in a tense moment and wish we could take it back. Sometimes, we just can’t stop laughing because of something that happened, but they happen throughout the course of our day.

Have you ever stopped to think about what you will say before you react? Have you ever thought about the words that will come out of your mouth? Are you the type of person who just says and does things in a moment that are sometimes destructive or hurtful?

I think if we are honest, we can all say that we have had and done things that have hurt someone’s feelings or upset someone or made a situation worse at some point in our life. If you haven’t, then I commend you!

Our son can get upset over things that do not bother a typical child to the extreme that it bothers him. For example, WIFI is a huge issue in our house. Everything is great as long as the WIFI is up and running well. The last couple of years, there has been vast improvement in this area with our son. Before, he would get anxious or tense while waiting for a video to load onto YouTube and as we all know sometimes computers or phones can be glitchy to the point that you have to power them down and restart them. Like I said, huge improvements have happened in our house for which I am extremely grateful.

But, at times, there can still be issues. These issues can stem from being in a bad mood or having a long day or just being impatient. You know the last thing that kind of pushes you over the edge.

I have been so used to dealing with internet issues that I can feel myself getting tense if things are not working properly and my reaction can be one of sheer panic especially at the point in the day when things need to wind down for the evening.

The other day (it was a Saturday) our son woke up early and told me that YouTube was not working. I looked at it and thought that I perhaps just needed to re-boot the modem. So up I got and went downstairs only to find out that not only was the internet not working, but neither was our home phone or our TV

Anyway, after a bit of time, I started to feel myself tense up (and inwardly panic) because it was early on a Saturday and I had been looking forward to just getting up and relaxing with my coffee. Is that bad?

Of course, my husband was out at the time. I called my Mom to see if her internet and TV were working and to my surprise there were thousands of people without services. So, everything was still relatively calm but I didn’t want to experience any drama so I decided to forgo my shower, get dressed and venture out shopping (without coffee!)

We went shopping for a bit and the entire time, I was trying to find out if things had started working yet. I mean, how can so many people be without services for such a long period of time?

When we were both done with shopping, I decided that we better go home and see what was going on and try to get something to eat. I didn’t really want to go back home without internet, but we did. Our son was still fine but I wondered in my head what we were going to do if things did not start working.

Fortunately, just as we got home, everything seemed to be up again. I was secretly relived so now I could just chill for a bit!  Our reactions have a big impact on people we interact with. If my son sees that I am upset, he may get upset too. If he sees me calmly handle a situation, he will watch and learn these skills and hopefully be able to put them into use in his life the next time he comes across a situation that doesn’t go his way. It’s all in the way I react at times as to how things will go down.

Of course, we are all human, so we are not always able to control our reactions all the time and we have to realize that it’s okay not to be perfect all the time.

I have noticed in the past while with our son, when he is getting upset over something (whatever it may be at the moment) when I remain calm and help him solve the problem, that he is more patient and more able to be part of the resolution and he is learning life-long problem-solving skills in the process.

Reactions are part of our daily life, so it’s something we can always work on improving!

I read about things related to autism on a daily basis. I am a part of multiple communities and do lots of my own personal research. I listen when I talk to others and I make informed decisions about therapies, treatments and the way in which we spend our money on these things.

It’s interesting what I read sometimes. Some people say that autism is strictly a psychological issue, while others talk about the medical side of autism.

People who talk about various improvements that their child has made as the result of different therapies, medical interventions, ABA, OT, Speech therapy, neurofeedback, CBD with fecal transplants and stems cells being the latest thing that is being studied.

There are also some people who choose to simply accept the autism diagnosis and do nothing.

People also talk about inclusion and exclusion in various way.

So who is right and who is wrong?

Well, it’s not that simple.

Autism is very complex and if you choose to intervene with any kind of therapy, it will look different for every person.

I believe that everyone should do their own research and then find professionals that they trust.

For us, the medical side has become huge in the last couple of years. Honestly, prior to this, I had little awareness of it. It is not mainstream in Canada and professionals who are involved in this as part of their practice, usually don’t advertise it as some of the treatments are not widely accepted by the medical community.

There are many medical interventions that can be done to make a person’s life easier. I am not going to talk about all of them today, but there are lots of things that will ease physically symptoms of autism, thus optimizing more learning when a person is physically feeling better and stronger.

Even school boards are divided on how to handle kids with autism. If you look at a public board versus a private board, you will see differences. One promotes inclusion, while the other exclusion. Inclusion is very important as we are all part of a bigger community where all people should be included.

Parents and people in the autism community are sometimes divided on certain aspects.

In my opinion, I don’t need a day for the community to celebrate autism. Every day in our house is autism day. I don’t need to celebrate it as much as bring an awareness to how certain things affect my child.

In our house, we are pro-active so we do work on medically healing and other holistic interventions that we have personally seen have made a huge impact on our child’s health and development. Is healing possible? Absolutely, I have seen it first hand.

But I think instead of being divided in the community, we should support each other and each other’s decisions on what we choose to do for our child. We should also be open and caring and share information with each other. To support the person and help the person with autism grow should be our top priority.

I am pretty low-key so I don’t need to have a rally, I just need to keep moving forward and help my child to succeed and grow. So to answer the question, I don’t choose sides, I choose my child because he is what matters the most!

 

 

What do you think of when you hear the word balance?

Perhaps it is work and personal-time related? Perhaps it is a balance between kids, home, activities and obligations?

In our life, it has different meanings. We have a school and down-time balance for both of our children. How much school work is enough? Is the homework too much and manageable? What do you do when your child can’t finish an assignment?

We continuously struggle with these questions related to school all the time. For our son, we want him to continue to develop his academics which includes spending extra time at home working on comprehension, reading and research to name a few.

In the past couple of years; however, we have realized how important it is for him to have his “me time” to do whatever he wants to do away from his busy school day. We have come to realize that it is not the obsessive amount of work that he may have to do to grasp a concept, it is simply does he understand the concept and how can it be reinforced without going overboard.

We also have to balance his free time. There has to be time for him to do whatever he wants to do and also time for the extra curricular activities that will build up his social skills and his life skills. This can be challenging as well. In the past, we have not (or should I say I have not) been good at doing this. I would sometimes over-schedule him to the sheer point of exhaustion just so that I could feel good that he had done this activity.

Really kind of silly when you think about it because it doesn’t matter if he misses scouts one night, or swimming or even hockey. In fact, it’s better to stay home if he’s not in the head space for something on that particular night.

We have also come to the realization that we are allowed to miss a night because one of us is not up to taking one of our kids somewhere. Growing up we were never allowed to go to an activity in the evening if we had missed school that day. But, in our house, that does not always happen. There are times when we do participate in an evening activity because we as a family face different daily challenges that sometimes can’t be avoided. I I am perfectly okay with doing an activity in the evening as long as there is no real serious illness. Sorry Mom!

I think as parents of kids on the spectrum we not only compare our children to typical children but we also compare them to other kids with ASD and what they are doing. At least I have done this in the past and this is not helpful for anyone, especially my son.

Just like all typical kids are different, all kids on the spectrum are different and are in need of different things at different times in their lives. Structure is good but also breaking away from structure can promote growth as well.

As our son is now in his teen years, balance is not all about school academics, but about what skills can I teach him to carry over to a productive fulfilled life and what things does he enjoy that he can possibly be successful making money at?

This has to balanced as well.

Balance can be challenging and your goals may shift from time-to-time as they should but hopefully we realize the importance of our child’s happiness because if they are happy, they will truly grow and thrive no matter what they do.