Remember this one? It’s back.. I didn’t like in then and I sure don’t like it now. It’s like a puzzle that I can’t solve. It’s tough and takes a lot of thought.
If you are familiar with autism, you will know that they use the puzzle piece as a representation of it.
Puzzle pieces are fascinating. Some go together easier than others and some just don’t fit. Puzzles are complicated and they have many different pieces especially the ones the larger ones.
In our house, the many different pieces are represented differently in both our kids. They are both very complex individuals with different needs, different tolerances and different understandings.
This can make life very interesting and very challenging. There is never a dull moment in our house and I truly mean NEVER. We aren’t just dealing with teenager things, we are dealing with 2 children with a multitude of complexities that anyone with typical children will never ever understand.
Sometimes I find myself not knowing what to say in a particular situation because I have never dealt with it before. What I say to one of my kids, cannot be said to the other. What is meaningful as as discipline to one literally has no impact on the other. We are constantly trying to juggle things around and make the rules up as we go.
When I think about my childhood and I think about now being a parent, I cannot fathom very many similarities on how to handle things. It’s funny when I listen to parents of “typical” children and what they are dealing with, I honestly cannot relate.
When one of my kids has a sensory issue with noise, it’s hard for me to understand because I don’t hear it. Some of the things, I don’t see because I don’t have autism. What I have learned to do is to talk to my kids and learn strategies that can help each one of them deal with their unique issues. For noise, we use headphones or ear buds, or just try to ensure that our house doesn’t have too many things on at one time that can be overwhelming.
Our kids both have spaces they can go when they are overwhelmed. Our daughter actually created this amazing space in the basement under a desk. It has mats big pillows and blankets. It helps keep her calm when things are crazy and she likes to lay there in the dark. When I can’t find her in her room, I know to look down there for her. I don’t get it, but it works for her and that’s all that matters.
I’m learning every day on how to deal with the next piece of the puzzle. I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t think I will ever be able to solve it, but with time, I’ve been able to put pieces together so that I can get closer and closer and by doing this, I hope that both of our children gain more knowledge on the things that work for them and the things that don’t.
Together we will continue to work on our “puzzles” piece by piece, day by day.