Author: autismlighterside

Movement is a very powerful thing. We move different parts of our body all day long. From the time we wake up in the morning until the time when we put our head on the pillow at night, we are constantly moving.

For children with autism, movements can sometimes create challenges. Some kids like our son have good gross motor movements and some have better fine motor movements.

I have discovered how much movement is affected by our brain. Honestly, I never really thought about it this way before. We found the ABM (Anat Baniel method) over two years ago. We were looking to try things for our son that we not mainstream necessarily, but things that had science behind it, especially for children with autism.

I read a book titled “Kids Beyond Limits” and I was so intrigued with what I discovered. There were many things but what stuck out the most to be was the body-brain connection. Also the importance of connecting with your child and not trying to change them. We should not try to fix our kids. If I really think about this statement long and hard, I realized that at times, I was trying to fix my child instead of accepting him. I learned that children were not broken. Sometimes this is hard because I am by nature a “problem-solver.” So this message for me was intriguing and very eye-opening. In my previous life as an analyst, I was trained to solve problems, to make things better, aka “fix it.” This does not mean that we should not help our child or provide the resources and support to get our child to the next level and make sure they have what they need to accomplish their goals.

After I read this book, I had to take a step back and really absorb the information. With the ABM methodology, there are nine essentials that you follow. At first it was hard for me to wrap my head around this because there is no “end goal.” You are not guaranteed anything after seeing an ABM practitioner.

The premise of this method is to make the child aware of how their brain is connected to their body movements and how becoming aware of different parts of their body, allows their brain to form new pathways of movement and connection which can make things easier in their daily life. For each person, it is different. Going into this with an open mind is key. The outcomes totally depend on the individual.

We were fortunate to find a practitioner somewhat close to our home. We were lucky because there are only 2 people in our area who provide this treatment.

The child goes for a number of sessions and in these sessions, there are different body movements done to make the child aware of different body parts. It’s much more complex than this.

Since our son started having treatments, he has come a long way with his understanding of how his body moves and becoming aware of easier ways of moving his body in terms of daily things like standing up to exercise to movements with his hips just to name a couple. It basically encompasses all types of movements and since we move our bodies all day long, it is important to be able to move in the best way and to be able to feel the movements that we do.

I am fascinated each time we go and the changes that I see – positive changes. Learning how to feel your body – connecting things together in your body by feeling different movements and becoming aware of how your body moves that can make things easier for you are very important.

On our most recent visit, I was astonished to witness a real transformation. Our son usually has to take a few breaks each session because he gets overwhelmed, but this time he was totally engaged and calm the entire session.

I saw something that I’ve never seen before – a real awareness!

This is a method that I really believe in.

If this is something that intrigues you, read the book “Kids Beyond Limits.” If you need any further information, please feel free to contact me.

All children and people have different growth patterns in their life.

Growth is very noticeable when a child is younger. They crawl, they take their first steps, their first bike ride and so on. When a child loses their first tooth, gets their first haircut, the list goes on and on when a child is growing up, especially the period from baby to toddler. Lots of changes happen during these years.

When your child is on the autism spectrum, regular growth can sometimes appear at different times. The physical part may be similar at times as other children and then vary at others. For example, your child may walk at the same time as another child and they may start eating solid food at the same time as another child, but they may not be able to talk at the same time as another child and they may be delayed in toilet training or other things. For all children the variance could be quite different, even children with autism.

We did have issues with the understanding of rules of sports for example. You can play soccer and kick a ball, but do you understand you need to pass the ball and you are part of a team? These things were more challenging for our son.

I belong to several different face book groups. I read stories about kids doing many different things and overcoming unbelievable challenges. Mostly, I just read and don’t comment because I want to evaluate and see for myself, especially on alternative treatments. In these cases, I may have to do more research and talk to more people to see if this would be a good fit for my child. The same goes for any products that are being sold. Some are good and some are not.

One thing I have noticed is that people are always excited to post about growth in their children – positive changes that have happened. It doesn’t matter how they got there, they are just happy that good changes have happened in their child. I love reading these stories!

I have seen growth at different times in our son’s life. I’m always happy when this happens.

Lately though I must admit that I’ve been amazed. I’m amazed by the small little things that no one really notices.

I’ve noticed calmness. I’ve noticed quiet attention and engagement to surroundings and people. I’ve noticed independence and problem solving. I’ve noticed true emotional feelings (these are not always positive in nature as they have opened our son up to real emotions that are not always happy ones.)

For most people, this would not seem like a big deal, but for us it has been truly remarkable.

Recently our son participated in a music festival  with his class. He plays the trumpet (not super great) but he plays. They had to play 4 songs. He was sitting on the stage the playing with the group the entire time! A feat that would not have happened 5 years ago.  Now as an onlooker observing they may say to themselves that this kid is playing the wrong note. But when I saw the video of him playing that was so graciously sent to me by one of his teachers, I had tears in my eyes. That I said to myself is real growth. From the kid who in grade 1 came off the stage to look at one of the band members trumpets in the middle of a concert.

Amazing growth!

For the teachers who are currently in my life, I am truly grateful. For the teachers who have been in my life, I am truly grateful. For the teachers who I have yet to meet, I will be truly grateful.

I am grateful to the teachers who take the time to get to know my children. I am grateful for their insight and compassion. I am grateful for what they bring to my children’s lives and how the impact they make will shape the people they will be in the future. I am grateful for teachers who listen even if they cannot totally comprehend my situation but are willing to open their minds to my children—their struggles, their challenges, what makes them happy. I am grateful for honesty as this helps me see the challenges they face in the school system that is sometimes broken. I am grateful for the teachers that genuinely care what happens to my children and are dedicated to the development of my children.

I have learned over the years that teachers are just people. You can talk to them and they will listen. Most will do their best to try to help. Some have more of an impact  than others.

I will always be forever grateful to those who go above and beyond and have made a difference in my children’s lives. There have been many over the years.

So thank you to all the teachers I know, especially, the ones right now. They may not realize the many little things they do on a daily basis to make my children’s day happy, successful and confidence-building. When you see you child learning you realize that everything is possible even when your child faces challenges.

Since April is Autism Awareness month, I thought I would share with you my perspective on things that I have learned about autism.

First and foremost — your child is your child. Autism is just a description of why your child may behave a certain way.

Autism affects families — the entire family. There are adjustments and changes that need to be made all the time.

Autism has taught me many lessons that I may not have otherwise learned and I’m so grateful for.

Autism is not easy. There are difficult moments that happen but it’s how you choose to handle these that gets you to the next level.

Autism is not just psychological as most people would have you believe – it is medical and treatable. What that looks like is different for each individual.

Don’t blame everything on autism. Your child may be doing something that is totally age appropriate. Everything is not related to their autism.

Autism teaches you patience and empathy for others. This is a good one for me!

Autism can bring you closer together, but can also take you father away.

Autism parents have a fierce kind of love for their child. They are protectors and advocates and will go to the ends of the earth to make sure their child not only gets what they need but what they deserve.

People who are involved with your child on a daily basis have a lot of influence over your child. Make them allies in getting your child to the next level. Support and share information with each other.

I don’t want to say that I’m grateful for autism, but I do want to say I’ve learned so much and autism has made me a better person with a passion inside of me that I never knew existed.

These are my feelings as we embrace Autism Awareness month. What are yours?

Quiet time I have come to realize is very important. This could mean different things for different people. For me, it sometimes just a few minutes in a day where there is no TV on, no dog barking and no one asking me a question. Just stillness. It doesn’t happen too often.

For others, it may be a vacation – time away from the busyness of your life.

For our son, it’s usually time away from everyone. Sometimes it’s quiet play. Other times, it’s just laying on his bed and many times it’s getting under the covers with a mound of pillows on top of him watching a show on YouTube.

I have come to realize that he needs these moments. Often I’m in fast mode thinking of the next thing he should be doing – like homework or making his bed. But lately I’ve stopped myself. When I look at him, I realize that he needs these times to stop and re-group and just be the way that it makes sense for him.

Imagine someone always trying to schedule your down time, your “me time.” It would be frustrating and exhausting.

I’ve realized that our son needs these times to re-group or just be so that he can forget about some of the things that may have been stressful or difficult in his day. I’ve noticed after he has had these times that he is more relaxed and willing to interact. He needs to have this as part of his daily routine.

Lately, I have really started to pay more attention to both my kids and listen to their needs and concerns, more than I have in the past. This has helped me to have a better understanding and connection with both of them and it has taken a lot of stress out of the equation.

A lesson learned for me!